I went outside today.

I went outside today.
It was nice to breathe the autumn air. To see green. Sunshine. How I miss the outdoors. Two minutes had passed and I was scared of another "attack" looming so I went back inside. This is why I'm going to get that bag.

I realized something today about the upcoming surgery that is important to not forget when I look back and reflect on "how successful the surgery was". From my understanding, there is a continuum of results that people with this surgery experience:

[Bad Outcome --- Better Outcome --- Amazing Outcome]

I don't make assumptions about how my own surgery will go, I feel neutral, I could end up anywhere on that line. But if I am lucky enough to be closer to the Better/Amazing I should be grateful. It's far better than what I have today. This is one of those blog posts I need to re-read after surgery to maintain "perspective".

Bad Outcome
-can't leave hospital/sepsis/shock/infections, etc
-can't sit without pain for 1 year+
-become sexually dysfunctional
-have stoma problems
-permanently a diabetic thanks to the prednisone

Better Outcome
-can sit without pain within a few weeks
-can use a bag without skin problems
-can sit, eat and walk around within a few weeks
-can speedwalk/jog with the dog
-can eat just about everything

Amazing Outcome
-can sit on a bicycle seat within a few months
-can do cardio exercise without herniation
-can rockclimb
-can do weight lifting eventually without herniation