Still cramping but there are some signs of improvement

Sorry for being so slow at updating. As per the advice given by my wonderful supportive blog followers, I try to walk as much as possible/sleep... and that gets in the way of using the PC.

The blockages continue. The cramps continue. I'm obsessed with watching the poo come out and if theres quiet stoma time I start to panic that I'm blocked up again. I'm going OCD. Also OCD with emptying my tubes into the drain bag- I get obsessed with watching the liquids move and helping them along.

On the bright side, I have been eating a lot, including many foods that would have hurt me dearly before (wheat, potatos, etc). I actually have been sneaking potato chips and chewing them really well even though I should be on liquids only. Ya, I'm not very smart sometimes. One other cool thing is that my predisone dose keeps getting lower and lower. That drug, over time becomes a pathogen too.

It looks like I may be sent home with instructions to catheterize myself with a 8-12 inch tube. And then to flush it nightly. This procedure would unblock me. After dealing with so many problems this doesn't faze me like I thought it would. Perhaps I'm somewhat desensitized to it all, already. One thing that was really helpful for me (and my family) in this process was looking at as many photos of stomas and stories of others as I could in advance of it all - to prep psychologically. I think that if I hadn't, this would be too much to bear psychologically.

Speaking of psychology, I do get depressed being in the hospital. When you are in this place, you are under the mercy of the nurses... and some of them suck/hate their jobs. Yesterday, my nurse (who seemingly hates her job) flushed my stoma foley catheter with water and got a bit of "output" on her gloves. She then wiped her gloves on my blanket. I was so shocked I said nothing. Frankly, I'm scared of what she can do to me if I assert myself and don't know how to mediate the relationship other than to refuse to let her nurse me again. The funny part is when she started unplugging and moving my laptop computer I asserted immediately that she stop. So much for being consistent.