With power, comes responsibility

Finally, after months of jealousy that my dog and wife can each muster up farts that embalm bystanders in a dizzying haze of methane-ether with globules of olfactory-hating micro spores, I too can join in on the fun.

With my Hollister bags I can slightly unclip the top and let the good stuff roll out.  A push on the bag is like a finely tuned lever which allows just the right amount of the concentrated gaseous elixir to permeate.  Unfortunately it aims right into my face but let's forget that part for now.

So of course after discovering these new super-talents (farting on demand!!!) I lean over to my wife and aim in her direction just as any husband would do.  The smell pervades the room with an odor that takes you back to the last century, before sewers were prevalent and when horses used to relieve themselves on the road.   In 90 degree heat.

Anyways, for those of you who want to copy my latest innovation I warn you that you should NOT do this while lying down.  I've done it two times now and the joke is on you.  What happens is that the stool is what awaits the exit point and the pressure creates a watergun like you've never had before.

With power, comes responsibility.  Make sure you are sitting up when you do this.  For extra power you can probahly use a straw to aim the good stuff more delicately, or even into a jar for later use.

Happy gassing!

p.s. I am so high right now on god knows what drugs to get me to sleep.  Yee ha!