My wife did not leave me for the gardener

My body looks the best it has in years. Actually, it's never looked this good.  My belly is thinner than it ever has been, framing my upper body in a nice V.  I can ignore the fact that there's an ostomy appliance hanging off my belly.   It's becoming a part of me that I am getting used to.   I am also getting used to emptying my appliance and protecting it.  And dressing so that it is concealed.  Life is getting to be very normal.  People who just meet me would never know that 7 weeks ago I was nearly dead from Colitis.  Colitis is starting to be forgotten.  Wow is the body ever resilient.

Every few days I have to change my "appliance" aka the bag. That part does not feel normal yet.  It feels dirty and I still have issues with it.  I find the process stressful.  And perhaps that's a good thing.  Perhaps changing the appliance is a forced "ritual" which does not feel normal, which reminds me of where I have come from.  How I lost my health for nearly three years.  How I brushed with death on several occasions and said no to life on many other occasions.  Perhaps this ritual which I so loathe is a good thing after all, as it forces me to remember the disease and stay just a bit closer to the lessons it taught me about patience, empathy, mortality, what's important in my life and how quickly time flies.    Even if I am used to the bag, the ritual reminds me that UC is still a part of me and will be a part of me for the rest of my life.  The UC will never be forgotten.  It will be with me in some form or another until I die.

(ps sorry for the misleading title, I couldn't come up with a properly descriptive one.  While I am on the subject of irrelevance: How come nobody noticed the chandeliers all over the previous posts btw?  I just had no creative energy left so I settled there too.... and not a peep from any of you lurkers)