Dinner and desert, in bed!

So I woke up at 2.30 and my first words were "what the fuck?". My bag broke off and I was smeared in half food-half poop, all yuck.  My wife awoke and helped me clean off (I bless her soul the best I can as an atheist).

The damage to the sheets wasn't that bad.  It took 5 minutes to clean and we were ready to go back to bed.

The damage to my esteem was a bit larger.  I felt as if I wouldn't even be allowed back in the cave had I lived in the time of the cavemen.  I bet they wouldn't even let me be a gatherer, let alone a hunter.

"Nah Steven, we don't need you to pick kindling either.  " .. "No, not that either...  we don't need flowers for our tea."    Why don't you just sit over there, yeah, just a little bit farther... A bit farther... perfect..."
And Steven sulkingly sleeps yards away from the group.
And finds that all the wolves seem to like him and cuddle up to him and roll around him.

One of the hunters in the group notices this and confused, asks what is happening with Steven?  I thought he was being devoured by the wolves but I don't understand it.  He's all warm and cuddled up.  What's going on?".
And then one of the cavemen, the brighter of the bunch suddenly has a light bulb go on..
"Ah yes, " says Leslie the caveman.  "The wolves love him as they now can roll in excrement all the time and camoflauge their scent."  

Perhaps this is how the domestication of wolves into dogs began?  We will never know...

Ok, time to go back to sleep.   The sleeping pills are kicking in.....  I better wrap myself in some garbage bags or saran wrap.   That will be fun to explain to my wife in the morning.