Going at it alone

My heart goes out to the people who have to go at this pain alone.
I don't know how they manage.

In my case, I am feeling arthritis spread through my body.  My hands are feeling frail and I once again know what it's like to be old.   The  remicade I used in the past may have caused me to get shingles now.
I also have a lot of pain whenever I change the bag.

There is a wound that won't heal and the glue sticks to it and pulls the thin skin of my belly.  Then we have to cauterize the open wound.  And then glue a new bag on.  And sometimes (aka tonight) the bag won't fit right and we have to adjust it and pull the glue off the skin again.

And during it all, I am intimate with poo/partially digested food in ways I never thought I would be.
Strangely, this is far better than having the colitis.  And I'm alive.  But it F'ing sucks too.

If I didn't have such a great family I don't think I'd be able to bear it all.  My heart goes out to those who go it alone.  What strength they must have.  To go through so much.  And to go through so much that noone else really understands or can "see".   I commend them wholeheartedly.