Thank you Colitis.

It was time to remove the glue from my backside.  Copious amounts of the stuff had been spread across my buttocks to ensure that the various tubes would stay in place.  Once I dried off from my heavenly shower I sat back and the nurse tugged at the coloplast, medical tape and whatever else was stuck there.  She pulled off matts of hair and glue and skin in the process.  I shrieked in agony but was still in joy from my minutes-ago shower.

Pain.

Things are good now, at least for the time being, but as I reflect on the last 3 years, especially the worst of the disease, I wanted to document this paradox of pain:   In my post-shower bikini wax moment, I was in agony yet it didn't matter.  The pain was local and fleeting and paled in the grand scheme.

Just like the Inuit have many words for the different types of snow, I see that there are many types of pain that can be better described.  I can't say why a better description is helpful to a non-medical person like me, other than the fact that I find defining things further, to be fun.  (Or perhaps that it makes me feel wise and I feel like I have a badge I can now show off.  )

So, here goes..
There is local pain versus body pain, the latter being far worse.  When body pain becomes bad enough you die. Local pain just hurts.

There is fleeting and continual pain, continual pain being annoying because, by definition it won't go away.

And then there is suffering.  Suffering is the emotional add-on which pops in like an unwanted family member who won't go away and drains hope and seeks out optimism only to destroy it with glee.  It is the psychological aspect of pain.  It is the feeling of your hope being crumbled.

Suffering is the worst type of pain to have..  You can't escape it and it never seems to dwindle in it's ferocity.  I think that's why depression is so painful, and in particular, why these auto-immune diseases are so horrible.  Until you get over them and reset expectations, you more than feel pain, you suffer.
Personally, I've gotten to the point where I don't expect much anymore.  It feels great.  When things go wrong you take it in stride.  When things go right you love it.  What better way to live?  Thank you Colitis.