Friday, September 25, 2009

Good news, UC style

So I ordered a bag to see what it would be like to wear it. Why wait till I have a real hole in my side.. better to get used to it now, right? I half filled it with water and then went about my busy day (which basically consists of sleeping, shitting blood, empathizing with anal rape victims and making bad jokes).

The bag held up. Hey, if this is all I have to do to deal with this disease is hang a 300 ml bag off my abdomen, no problem, sign me up! What a trade off, I'll take it in a hearbeat. The bag felt like a second scrotum that was somewhat misplaced and just a little too big but all in all, not such a big deal. I was able to sit on my motorcycle, nap in bed and even go to the local supermarket to sample candies without trouble. Interestingly, when I sat down later that night the belly folds which I attribute to intestinal inflammation (and not to having an excess of female hormones and belly fat), caused the sticker adhesive to bunch up. And then the bag leaked. Despite the leak I do think this can work. I really do. Just need to try other permutations, get kicked down and get back up again. And eventually it should be fine. I really believe it. Try and try again. Maybe I'll need to hang a rubber chicken or cereal box off my side but something, someday will work.

On a side note, I asked the stoma nurse if my pot belly is due to intestinal inflammation and will go away when the colon is removed. Think about it: Suddenly, after surgery, perhaps, I'll have a wickedly ripped six pack as soon as the colon comes out -- this whole Molson muscle thing will disappear. I don't remember her exact words but the essence of her response was "yeah right".

Anyways, time for my 4th nap of the day.

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