Ostomies are bad for literacy

I miss reading like a normal person does.  

I dont' read magazines while on the toilet anymore.  There's just less time spent on the can, waiting for a loaf to come out.

With an ostomy, you are active, emptying and cleaning things.  Your hands are busy.
My Spanish is getting worse and worse.  My economics magazines are not getting read unless I make a concerted effort to get off the computer and actually (get this) sit down and read.  Soon I will become illiterate thanks to colitis and my radical cure.  Damn disease.

I wish I could make an automatic magazine holder and page flipper to help with this problem.